The Gratitude Habit and the Practice of Story: Slowing down to notice

When it snows in April, Winnipeggers make snow people.

It seems like a year has gone by, but it’s really only a month since I started posting a daily gratitude note on Instagram. I know that when I practice gratitude, it opens up my heart. It makes me a more generous human being. It opens me up to joy. And this pandemic was not bringing joy. 

“I’ll just do the posting while this physical distancing is in place,” I promised myself. “A few weeks, maybe a month. Easy!” 

It hasn’t been easy, especially with the growing realization that we have no idea how long we will need to practice distancing. Then talk of ‘New Normal’ replaces the phrase ‘after this is over’.

I skipped a day or two of gratitude. The news was grim. The timelines, the numbers, the deep uncertainty, the reports of those who were suffering.

I watched my work calendar empty out, first just a few weeks and then rapidly a month, three months, five months. I’ll admit that there were moments where my anxiety moved from a background buzz to a scream .

The weather in Manitoba was gusty and snowy most of April. Gratitude had a hard time showing up…but the practice of gratitude isn’t meant for easy times. 

I found my feet again walking down the middle of Wolseley Ave., blocked off to car traffic for the time being. I saw the funky snow-people that kids and adults were making in their yards, poetry posted on Arlington Street and six-foot conversations between neighbours. 

 I remembered my mom beaming back at me on a Zoom call with family, saying “This is so special,” when my Uncle Peter, 92, popped into the call to say hello -- all the way from Phoenix! I noted the precious time spent with my 17-year-old, problem solving with him on how to make a poncho out of a blanket or sew a collar onto a shirt. Did I ever imagine we would get to spend so much time together this year?

“To open your eyes and know another day, we can’t take it for granted,” said Brother David Steindl-Rast. He was born in Austria and spent his teenage years under Nazi occupation. He’s the founder of A Network for Grateful Living and a beloved teacher on spiritual gratitude. 

If he could practice gratitude under those conditions, so can I. 

Practicing gratitude means slowing down and noticing. It’s the same for catching stories. 

In fact, my top three story catching tips are:

·       Ground yourself in open curiosity.

·       Listen in between the words for what storytellers are not saying.

·       Get comfortable with silence, especially when you are asking open-ended thoughtful questions. 

On Day 19 of the Gratitude Habit, I got this text from my 92-year-old uncle, just after our weekly family call on zoom:

“I forgot to mention that I thought the pattern of you adopting an expression of gratitude each day has changed your whole outlook somewhat. I think your expressions of gratitude brightened your face last Wednesday. You seemed extra happy on that Zoom. I thought this so I thought I’d mention it. If you don’t think it’s true dismiss my opinion - Uncle Peter”

So, here’s the thing. The everyday challenges I have been facing haven’t changed. But when I make the choice to slow down and notice those things that I can celebrate and be thankful for, it changes my outlook.

 I am not saying I land each day in a completely joyful place, but mostly I am landing on my feet! And finding my way in this new story.